Top Ten Things Not To Say To A Cop When Your Pulled Over

10) Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
9)  Wanta race to the station, Sparky?
8)  I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!
7)  On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
6)  You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!
5)  Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
4)  Hey wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
3)  How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
2)  Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
1)  I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunk'in Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!

Since this list, other files have passed around. Below are some definite
candidates for things NOT to say to a cop when pulled over:
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me!  Good job!
Excuse me -- Is "stick up" hyphenated?
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No donut!
You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops ?
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
I pay your salary!
So, uh, you on the take, or what?
Gee, Officer! That's terrific, the last officer only gave me a warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's
how far ahead of me they are.