THE ART OF DECEPTION IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Or he who laugs last is usually
the dumbest kid on the block.
Or how my life was nearly ruined
by an unjewish hippy.
It's amazing how low you go to get high. It's
cheaper to pay for it. Kaptain Kundalini escapes from
Knixxon's shit list. The village voice strangled by self-indulgence. 
Anne Venner loses control of het body in
seven easy lessons in the village stone; cecil beats off sex
offender. Fear and Loathing in the Vatican, St. John
Thomas's 19th book in the series "Fear and Loathing
Wherever I Can Find It." Dame Roberta Morley sells
not-so-great Britain to the Arabs. Hermann Goering
wins Grammy. Fred and Ada Ghurkin invited to jeer at
crippled vets at "Some Wars Are Over" rally.

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       You must remember this...
       A piss is just a piss...

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An inexplicable feeling of Charlatan the Great comes
over me as I peer thru the window of my seventh-floor
soul.

So, you're getting bored?

So fuck you.

Turn the page.

Go to sleep.

How to drive a large car over a small body.

Why must I be he a teenager in drag? In the name
of the father, mother, and Rory Calhoun, I pronounce
this shap shape. Why doe foo-ools fall in holes? Each
night I ask the stars up aburve.

"I've seen the future and it prays." These words I
leave you as I pass into a hypnotic trance brought on by
a yawn of great significance. Why did the Boston strangler?
Coz Lady Astor! Dr. Tong's on the phone and he
wants to talk to me. Methadone: the government-sponsored
killer. Ask a "real" Dr. "how to get off?" "you
can't," they say, with a reassuring smile. Up you, Dr.
Dildol.

One thing about western doctors I do like is the fact
that tey're all ILL. "I'm arranging to have your symphtoms
confirmed."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, blessed, wise, and wonderful
one."

They can't admit what they don't know, but they do
talk Latin. Drs. and Lawyers are interchangeable; they
both stick you. "I don't make house calls; I make
money!"

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A demiurge on behalf of the Knights of the Order of
St. Dervish:

Dear Subscriber,
As you know, at this time we generally put spells
on most people. This year, we have decided to invite
people to participate on a voluntary basis, or else. Please
send a donation or suffer the pangs of guilt which ar
implicit in letters of this nature. We are more deserving
than anyone else on earth as far as we're concerned. In
fact we're Very Important.
We hope you will find it in your well-known heart
to help us in our endeavors to get toilet paper to needy
patrons. Our list of sponsors is similar to most other
organisations (i.e., liberal, with a sprinkling of people).
Do join us for a caviar breakfast to raise consciousness.

bless you in advance.

the respectable Viscount,
J. K. Tthimblestein Arcourt Smythe (e.g.i.e.phd.)

P.S. Enclosed is a list of others we've harassed in the
past.

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I wink to myself, and push on to the next chapter in
the continuing saga of a seemingly endless character
analysis.